How to take a joy ride in an elevator

You know how we sometimes feel uncomfortable in a crowded elevator? How people stare at their feet like they think they’re growing another foot? Or stare at the doors silently thinking, “Hurry up and open. Hurry up and open.” ?

If you are tired of elevator boredom, here are a few of my favorite ideas (from this list) to add a bit of wit to your day:

  • Sell Girl Scout cookies.
  • Shave.
  • Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator.
  • Bring a chair along (second favorite)
  • Do Tai Chi exercises. (On this one, you might have to ask others to stand back)
  • Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
  • Start a sing-along.
  • Play the harmonica. (Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen comes to mind)
  • Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your “personal space.”
  • Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. (for me, this comes in first)

 

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Or, you can always take the stairs.

Escher's_Relativity

 

 

Daily th 2  said, “Try to be Witty. But don’t strain yourself in the process.”

 

photo one- credit

photo two- credit

I’ll tell you but nobody else

A month ago, I didn’t have to read the fast-food menu.

I already knew what my husband wanted.

I prepared myself to say “a four piece chicken basket, please.”

I pulled up to the speaker.

Why wasn’t Microphone Person saying, “Welcome to Wally’s. May I take your order?” ??

Instead, no one said anything. Not even a snarky, “what would you like?”

“Hello,” I said. “Hello?”

That’s when I realized my mistake.

Had anyone watched me talk into the trash receptacle?

Last Sunday, on the fast food run, I decided not to make the same mistake. Instead, I chuckled and snapped this photo as a reminder.

IMG_2516

Of course the world teases and laughs at us at times. How else would Mother Earth spin?

 

One-upping the pretentious- Priceless

Miss Pompous puffed out her chest and said,  braying,

“My Chanel suit and shoes are all new!!!”

I lifted my chin at her neighing,

saying,

“You should buy a kazoo.

Or a kangaroo.

‘Cause THIS woman you CANNOT outdo!”

And with the last word, I showed her the bird-

Not a finger, you silly,

My emu!

IMG_0284 (1)

 

 (painting by C. Dennis-Willingham)

daily word prompt: Priceless